Back in those days when i played cricket i was never a good finisher, i could never consolidate on game and always lacked confidence and had a huge huge inferiority complex because of an invisble force that is why i left that game but now same lack of will power is hunting me all over again and this time its in my work.
I have done a lots of clients work and i do it good at least i think so, have had very few problem when i work for someone else but when i try to work for myself, i mean when i create a website i never launch it. I have 101 ideas in my mind that i can convert to a website and make a healthy business but i never succeed in doing so.
In last 3 years i have worked on over 60 personal projects, i quickly hack a wordpress theme, write content, do all the stuff but at the very last moment i loose all the confidence and just dump the project. Ha, if you search my HDD you might find more business ideas and compete websites than a startup incumbator might have in a year, but the problem is execution. I never execute on them, i never launch.
They say it right, ideas are dime a dozen.. what matters is execution. You have to do it then only it matters or its just an imagination in your mind.
I think this phobia of not launching your own project might have effected to a lot of freelancers out there otherwise we might see many more exciting startups being created which could create a dent in the universe.
One of the major problem with me is i become extremely perfectionist when its comes to designing my own sites. I might not care about how good a site works but i do care that when i create a site it should create a revolution. like WTF!. and i don’t think i am any good designer but still this perfectionist state of mind hurts like hell.
I go through almost 10-15 design changes before i finally settle on one design and by the time i complete the content and basic structure of site that final design as well changes to something totally different.
Besides design, second thing that i always get stuck is with Payment processor. I just can’t go through it. Payment processing is a very very emotional thing to me. I know, you might not understand how payment processing can be emotional but it is to me. I live in Nepal and every Nepali webmaster has this problem with payment processor and they will understand it very well.
Anyway, enough of the rant, i think i will go and brainstorm some another idea and hack a new wordpress theme for it.
Btw, if you are wondering that despite being a web developer why am i still using the default wordpress theme on this site then i guess you can understand the reason after reading this post. This is my most personal website and i still stuck in that perfectionist state of mind/limbo with it. Just can’t get enough inspiration to create a kick ass design for this blog.
Till then, Cheerio Folks